Posts filed under ‘Guest Related’

I didn’t know half of the people at my wedding!

When it came time to put together a guest list for our wedding, our parents had more potential invitees than we had planned on inviting to the whole affair!! We spent weeks trying to get their numbers down and then found we were left having to exclude so many of our friends. Looking back it was a huge mistake, most of the older invitees had left by 9pm and it was a real downer for the party!

Ahhhh, the guest list.

For some couples, the wedding has very little to do with the fact that they are getting married. Instead, it turns into an event that the parents [and sometimes in-laws] are more than happy to plan and control. Unfortunately, this is somewhat understandable because in many cases, they are actually the ones footing the bill as well. To avoid, this bride’s dilemma we recommend the following….

1. Before you even begin to look at wedding venues, make a list of how many guests you would like to have and as the important members of your and your groom’s family to do the same.

2. If you are paying for your own wedding, you can pretty much stop reading at this point. You have the perfect [most legitimate] excuse for limiting the guest list of both your families, and you really can set the parameters you think are fair to make everyone feel included while not making you feel like a guest at your own wedding.

3. If you are not paying for your wedding consider creating a way to help your parents whittle down their lists. Create some hurdles that potential guests have to overcome in order to be included in the wedding. You have to have spoken to them in the past 2 years, you have to know the names of all of their children, you have to have been friends with them for more than 5 years or any other criteria that you think while X out a lot of your parent’s guests.

4. Once you come up with your final list, only then should you begin looking for wedding venues. There is no point in booking a ballroom that is going to be too small, a hotel that doesn’t have enough space for your out of town guests, or a church that will have half of the guests standing in the wings. Additionally, cost is likely going to be a factor as well. You might feel like choosing one venue if you have 100 guests and another one entirely if you have 200 guests.

The wedding list is a super important conversation to have, and you can’t have it too early. In our experience, it is a subject of so much strife that the earlier you get your expectations out in the open and hear the expectations of everyone else, the better off you are going to be. Good luck, this is a toughie!


October 8, 2010 at 5:57 am 1 comment

I Saved Money in the Wrong Places

When I started planning my wedding I basically just went through and asked for everything on my wish list. At some point, it hit me like a ton of bricks how fast all of the bills were piling up. I couldn’t belive how much money I was spending and I went into panic mode cutting things left and right.

We all get there.

You are planning you wedding and you just lose sight of everything you are spending because it is all indifferent places: the photographer, the florist, the hotel, the welcome baskets, etc. When you sit down and add it up, you basically have a heart attack. It’s kind of like getting your credit card at the end of the month, you don’t see one charge for more than $150 but yet your bill is $1,500 and you can’t figure out how you did it. (more…)

September 13, 2010 at 6:24 pm Leave a comment

I didn’t know more than half of the people at my wedding….

“My husband comes from a culture where everyone you have ever met is invited to the wedding. I come from a small family who lived thousands of miles away from where we were getting married in his hometown. I had 575 people at the wedding and I think I only knew about 75 of them. It was kind of awful and looking back I wouldn’t have agreed to it.”

It is a wedding. Not a political fundraiser.

Unless you want to spend the whole night doing a rope-line meet and greet that is reminiscent of a political rally where you are just kissing babies and waving, you really should stop to consider how many of the people at your wedding are going to be total strangers and how that is going to bother you. This bride says that to this day she will meet people who tell her that they were at her wedding, and she has never met them before in her life.

So how do you decide? (more…)

August 11, 2010 at 4:16 pm Leave a comment

I forgot how delicate other people’s relationships actually are…

“I adopted a ‘no ring, no bring’ policy at my wedding which resulted in a ‘no longer friends’ policy in response. I was adamant that single people come alone and felt sure I could match them with other singles at the wedding. I didn’t really take into account that there were many more single women than men and that many people really weren’t looking to be matched at the wedding at all. It was a huge mistake that cost me quite a few friends and even an invitation to a wedding of one of the couples who got engaged shortly after my wedding.”

There are times in the wedding planning process where you have to step away from the calculator and forget about how much things are costing you and remember that you are actually trying to create an evening that BOTH you and your guests will enjoy. To me, the whole ‘no ring, no bring’ policy is absurd. It’s like having a dinner party where you invite only one member of the couple and tell the other one to stay at home because you don’t want to fork out the extra money for his/her meal. (more…)

August 11, 2010 at 4:14 pm Leave a comment