I didn’t know half of the people at my wedding!

October 8, 2010 at 5:57 am 1 comment

When it came time to put together a guest list for our wedding, our parents had more potential invitees than we had planned on inviting to the whole affair!! We spent weeks trying to get their numbers down and then found we were left having to exclude so many of our friends. Looking back it was a huge mistake, most of the older invitees had left by 9pm and it was a real downer for the party!

Ahhhh, the guest list.

For some couples, the wedding has very little to do with the fact that they are getting married. Instead, it turns into an event that the parents [and sometimes in-laws] are more than happy to plan and control. Unfortunately, this is somewhat understandable because in many cases, they are actually the ones footing the bill as well. To avoid, this bride’s dilemma we recommend the following….

1. Before you even begin to look at wedding venues, make a list of how many guests you would like to have and as the important members of your and your groom’s family to do the same.

2. If you are paying for your own wedding, you can pretty much stop reading at this point. You have the perfect [most legitimate] excuse for limiting the guest list of both your families, and you really can set the parameters you think are fair to make everyone feel included while not making you feel like a guest at your own wedding.

3. If you are not paying for your wedding consider creating a way to help your parents whittle down their lists. Create some hurdles that potential guests have to overcome in order to be included in the wedding. You have to have spoken to them in the past 2 years, you have to know the names of all of their children, you have to have been friends with them for more than 5 years or any other criteria that you think while X out a lot of your parent’s guests.

4. Once you come up with your final list, only then should you begin looking for wedding venues. There is no point in booking a ballroom that is going to be too small, a hotel that doesn’t have enough space for your out of town guests, or a church that will have half of the guests standing in the wings. Additionally, cost is likely going to be a factor as well. You might feel like choosing one venue if you have 100 guests and another one entirely if you have 200 guests.

The wedding list is a super important conversation to have, and you can’t have it too early. In our experience, it is a subject of so much strife that the earlier you get your expectations out in the open and hear the expectations of everyone else, the better off you are going to be. Good luck, this is a toughie!


Entry filed under: Guest Related.

My mother-in-law spoiled my wedding I wanted a five star wedding on a three star budget

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. wedding venues in san diego  |  October 24, 2010 at 7:05 pm

    All excellent tips and good advice!

    As a wedding venue in San Diego, we can confirm how important having a realistic guest count is when a bride is searching for wedding venues. Your guest count can be impacted by the packages and pricing offered by a venue. It can also sometimes fall within the range of “specials” offered by a wedding and reception site.


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