I forgot how delicate other people’s relationships actually are…

August 11, 2010 at 4:14 pm Leave a comment

“I adopted a ‘no ring, no bring’ policy at my wedding which resulted in a ‘no longer friends’ policy in response. I was adamant that single people come alone and felt sure I could match them with other singles at the wedding. I didn’t really take into account that there were many more single women than men and that many people really weren’t looking to be matched at the wedding at all. It was a huge mistake that cost me quite a few friends and even an invitation to a wedding of one of the couples who got engaged shortly after my wedding.”

There are times in the wedding planning process where you have to step away from the calculator and forget about how much things are costing you and remember that you are actually trying to create an evening that BOTH you and your guests will enjoy. To me, the whole ‘no ring, no bring’ policy is absurd. It’s like having a dinner party where you invite only one member of the couple and tell the other one to stay at home because you don’t want to fork out the extra money for his/her meal.

Also, and I hate to say this in a wedding blog because I feel like it is the dark little secret that everyone knows but no one will admit: many people dread going to weddings.
Yup, it is sad, but true. For most people springing for a large gift, sitting through an often wayyyyy too long church service, traveling far and wide to listen to boring speeches and getting up to belt out “twist and shout” where the average age on the dance floor is 60 is just not their idea of a great night. In fact, if you took a post wedding pole and asked people if they would have preferred to be at the wedding or at home with a nice bottle of wine, a great movie and some fantastic take-out, most are going to choose the latter.

I mean, if you are really going to make people leave their girlfriends at home or come totally solo because you are not sure they are going to marry the person they are currently dating, why not just evaluate the married couples while you are at it? Seriously, take a long hard look at your married friends and decide how many of them are really going to be still married in 10 years and only invite the half that you like. That might actually MAKE you some friends, from the ones who were thrilled to get out without their spouses.

So let your friends bring a date. Don’t make them suffer and resent you all at once. Because, your wedding really is about more than just you – it is about your friends at well.



Entry filed under: Guest Related.

My Groom wanted to do something for himself…. I didn’t know more than half of the people at my wedding….

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