Looking back, I was way too selfish planning our wedding.

August 6, 2010 at 4:59 pm Leave a comment

“When it came time to plan my wedding I wanted everything a certain way and I wasn’t at all concerned about the guests at the party. My husband kept pointing things out to me but my attitude was, ‘too bad, they have to deal.’ I insisted on getting married in a church 55 minutes from the reception site because it was more beautiful than the one near our hotel. With rush-hour traffic, it left the guests on a hot bus for over 3 hours. You can imagine how everyone was complaining.”

Just like the rest of your marriage, your wedding day should be a compromise between what you want and what is reasonable. We have had a bunch of emails from brides who look back on decisions they made and are not sure what really got into them. Could be, you have suffered at other people’s weddings and you feel like it is your turn to do it your way – regardless of if they have to suffer or not. Or, you have an image in your mind about what your wedding should be and are just not prepared to give it up. There has to be a midpoint. Our one big suggestion

when you are having your guests travel any distance at all is to drive that distance yourself [in both directions1] at the same day and time of year as your wedding. If you are getting married in Orange County California, you can be sure that getting from point A to point B is going to be a LOT faster when you drive it out in January before your June wedding. Don’t rely on Mapquest, there is often a big disconnect between the real time and the theoretical time.

One other suggestion we have is to think about the wedding in everyday terms – because that is what it is going to be to most of your guests. Would you drive 3 hour round-trip to go to church, 2 hours to play golf, 1.5 hours for a [rehersal] dinner. Probably not. Could that drive ruin your enjoyment of the rest of the evening – probably. Remember that happy guests make a fun wedding and the location is just that – 4 walls and a floor. The company is going to make and break what makes it a fun evening.

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Another band horror story… My Groom wanted to do something for himself….

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