Archive for August, 2010

Our hotel charged us a fortune for our room block!

We booked our venue and when we went to negotiate the room block, the prices were absurd. The banquet manager said she couldn’t really help us as the group reservations person was a different person altogether. It wound up that half of our friends had to stay about 1.5 miles from the reception site and we were so upset.

The thing about doing your wedding is that you get only one chance to do things the way that you want them. There is no possibility of learning from your mistakes. That means you have to learn from the way that other people did their weddings and not make the same mistakes. One thing to learn is that every aspect of the contract with your venue should be negotiated before you sign any part of it. That means, the actual wedding, the room block, any rehearsal dinner you may have in one of the hotel restaurants and any other amenities [airport transfers, etc] that you want for your wedding party. (more…)


August 31, 2010 at 3:49 pm 1 comment

Rehersal dinner was way toooo fun…..

My friends are fun. Perhaps I should have known that putting them all together in a restaurant with an open bar was a recipe for disaster, but I didn’t think it through. Everyone had so much fun but were completely hung over the next day and our wedding seemed like a downer compared to the rehearsal dinner!!

Though we agree it is important to know your audience, this one is tricky. I mean, you want your friends to have a good time but not too good a time? That is a hard balance to strike. If you have an inkling that your crew may be the type to party like rock stars on the night before the concert, we have a few suggestions for you……. (more…)

August 19, 2010 at 3:24 pm Leave a comment


“A few of my friends asked to bring their children to our 5pm wedding and though I wasn’t totally thrilled with the idea, I agreed. At first it was pretty cute, but as the night wore on, the kids turned into nightmares and their parents seemed not to care. It bothered me so much and I felt like it was soooo disrespectful.”

One thing is for sure, you will feel differently about children when you have them, but at this point it is totally understandable that they look like screeching nightmares. If you have quite a few kids coming to the wedding and you know the parents are not the most attentive, you are going to have to make a little extra effort to control the situation. (more…)

August 17, 2010 at 4:28 pm Leave a comment

I didn’t know more than half of the people at my wedding….

“My husband comes from a culture where everyone you have ever met is invited to the wedding. I come from a small family who lived thousands of miles away from where we were getting married in his hometown. I had 575 people at the wedding and I think I only knew about 75 of them. It was kind of awful and looking back I wouldn’t have agreed to it.”

It is a wedding. Not a political fundraiser.

Unless you want to spend the whole night doing a rope-line meet and greet that is reminiscent of a political rally where you are just kissing babies and waving, you really should stop to consider how many of the people at your wedding are going to be total strangers and how that is going to bother you. This bride says that to this day she will meet people who tell her that they were at her wedding, and she has never met them before in her life.

So how do you decide? (more…)

August 11, 2010 at 4:16 pm Leave a comment

I forgot how delicate other people’s relationships actually are…

“I adopted a ‘no ring, no bring’ policy at my wedding which resulted in a ‘no longer friends’ policy in response. I was adamant that single people come alone and felt sure I could match them with other singles at the wedding. I didn’t really take into account that there were many more single women than men and that many people really weren’t looking to be matched at the wedding at all. It was a huge mistake that cost me quite a few friends and even an invitation to a wedding of one of the couples who got engaged shortly after my wedding.”

There are times in the wedding planning process where you have to step away from the calculator and forget about how much things are costing you and remember that you are actually trying to create an evening that BOTH you and your guests will enjoy. To me, the whole ‘no ring, no bring’ policy is absurd. It’s like having a dinner party where you invite only one member of the couple and tell the other one to stay at home because you don’t want to fork out the extra money for his/her meal. (more…)

August 11, 2010 at 4:14 pm Leave a comment

My Groom wanted to do something for himself….

People always say that the groom sometimes gets lost in the preparations, and mine did feel lost. He decided he wanted to get his first straight edge shave on the day of the wedding and I totally thought that was a great idea. We found a woman to come to the hotel and it was awful. Something about either the razor or the soap made my husband totally break out in a rash. He looked like a 13 year old with acne in all of our pictures!

There should be no “firsts” on the day of the wedding [except, perhaps, first time getting married or first dance]. First time having your make-up done, first time trying on your wedding dress after alterations, first time wearing your wedding shoes…..all of these things should happen BEFORE the wedding and not the day of. If there is something special your groom wants to do on the day of, we get it, just make sure he has a trial run. Trust us, the potential for something going wrong totally outweighs the satisfaction he will get from whatever it is he is going to do.

August 11, 2010 at 4:10 pm Leave a comment

Looking back, I was way too selfish planning our wedding.

“When it came time to plan my wedding I wanted everything a certain way and I wasn’t at all concerned about the guests at the party. My husband kept pointing things out to me but my attitude was, ‘too bad, they have to deal.’ I insisted on getting married in a church 55 minutes from the reception site because it was more beautiful than the one near our hotel. With rush-hour traffic, it left the guests on a hot bus for over 3 hours. You can imagine how everyone was complaining.”

Just like the rest of your marriage, your wedding day should be a compromise between what you want and what is reasonable. We have had a bunch of emails from brides who look back on decisions they made and are not sure what really got into them. Could be, you have suffered at other people’s weddings and you feel like it is your turn to do it your way – regardless of if they have to suffer or not. Or, you have an image in your mind about what your wedding should be and are just not prepared to give it up. There has to be a midpoint. Our one big suggestion (more…)

August 6, 2010 at 4:59 pm Leave a comment

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